Everyone has to start from somewhere. But once you start you can never stop.
The Collins dictionary defines being an ally as 'being a support system for a marginalised group within society even though they're not a member of said group.' Whether it is towards the LGBTQIA+ community, Black, Asian and other Global Majorities or the Disabilities & Neurodiverse community, allies are needed. Allies are important for movements as we can't just sit around while different community groups continuously fight their own fires. Fierce and relentless fires ignited by the biases and discrimination from others. We have to resist the all too comfortable feeling of being inactive bystanders, we must support others and challenge bigotry whenever we see it.
The word 'ally' is both a noun and a verb. It is a noun when a marginalised community calls on you to be their ally (you cannot self-appoint yourself as an ally without doing the work!). It is also a verb as there are actions you can do to show your allyship. Practising allyship will look different for everyone depending on the needs of the community you're allied with, the environment you're in and the position you hold. However, let it be noted that regardless of your job title or who you are everyone can be an ally. But those with higher levels of power and influence should have a bigger sense of responsibility than the average person.
When you decide to take the steps to become an authentic ally, we must highlight that it is not about you as the individual. It is about you supporting the community with the resources and reach you have that they have no access to. When you are not a part of the community, you work on their time and their terms, so if that community invites you into their space you must respect the environment and be comfortable with not being the centre of attention. You have to be open to learning and having conversations about the part you play in the dismantling of bigoted structures.
Below are some things to keep in mind when wanting to be an authentic ally;
Listening to understand is important.
You cannot take centre stage, you are a support system not the person in charge.
Silence is compliance. Being an inactive bystander doesn't bring change.
Show your solidarity through actions.
Education is lifelong, and so is allyship. Constantly unlearning and learning is a necessary process.
Being an ally is about celebrating different communities as much as it is about supporting and using your privilege to challenge the bigoted structures that oppress others.
You cannot be performative in this space. Only intentional and authentic approaches.
Be honest about your mistakes and seek to rectify them.
Allyship is constantly evolving, you will learn something new every day. There will be many instances where you will have to be actively anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-ableist. You will have to continue doing the work even when the trends have died down. There will always be opportunities to do your part.
If you would like for me to facilitate an Allyship Workshop for your organisation please contact me info.toluwa@gmail.com
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